sdi

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Parents


In accordance with Islamic teachings, the status that is given after Almighty Allah and His Rasool (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is that of parents.
If one's parents are pleased with him or her, then that person has gained the Pleasure of Almighty Allah and His Rasool (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam). The Pleasure of Almighty Allah and His Rasool (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) can never be gained if one's parents are displeased. It is the duty of every child to serve his or her parents and be kind to them. They can do this by not showing disrespect and causing pain to them. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that a disobedient child will not enter Jannat. To look at your parents with love will gain you the Sawaab of Hajj. It is also stated that "Jannat lies under the feet of your mother" and that the father is the "gate to Jannat". In a Hadith it is stated that a certain Sahabi was commanded by his parents to divorce his wife. When he relayed this message to Huzoor (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) advised him to follow his parent's advice.
It is an accepted fact that one may always have a wife and a child, but parents only come once. We should ponder over the fact that if it had not been for our parents, where would we be? A child can never repay or fulfill the right of his or her parents.
It must be noted that the status of the mother is very exalted. The Ulema have written that if the son is engaged in Nafil Salaah and if his mother calls to him, then he should adhere to her call and present himself before her.
After the demise of one's parents, be sure to visit their graves. Make Esaale Sawaab and distribute Khayraat and Sadaqa on their behalf. To show respect and kindness to the friends and family of your parents is also part of your duty towards them. Just as you respect your parents, the respect and obedience for your Peer-e-Tariqah and Ulema-e-Deen is also important. The Haqq of the Deeni Ustaad even supersedes that of parents. Thus, always respect your religious teacher. Also respect your father- and mother-in-law since they are like your parents. The woman should be more dutiful to her in-laws that to her own parents. By doing so she will gain benefits in this world and in the Hereafter.
ACKNOWLEDGING THE STATUS OF PARENTS AND DISCHARGING THEDUTIES TOWARDS THEM
The Beloved Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) had directed Muslims to show respect and honour their parents even if the parents of Muslims were non-Muslims ill-disposed towards Islam. In Islam, after the duties towards the Supreme Almighty Allah, priority has been given to the duties towards parents (either one or both of them).
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) instructed Muslims to speak to their parents in the kindest manner that would be soothing to their ears, and never to chide, shout or rebuke them. He also advised that Paradise becomes unlawful (Haraam) for those who are disobedient to their parents; and that long life can only be gained through obedience to parents.
The Holy Quran states in Surah 17, Verses 23-24: "Thy Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them. But address them in terms of honour.
"And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, 'My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.'"
In Surah Ahqaf (46), Verse 15, the Holy Quran again states the following: "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents. In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.
The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months."
In Surah Luqman (31), Verse 14, the Holy Quran again states: "And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents; in travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And in years twain was his weaning; (hear the Command) 'Show gratitude to Me (Allah) and to thy parents; to Me (Allah) is thy final goal.'"
The following are Ahaadith from the various Kitaabs of Hadith that refer to a Muslims duty towards his or her parents:
Bukhari Shareef and Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that a man enquired: "O Apostle of Allah! Who is the most proper person for my good association?" He replied, "Thy mother." Then he asked: "Who is next?" He replied, "Thy mother." Then he asked: "Who is next?" He replied, "Thy mother." He enquired: "Who is next?" He said, "Thy father." In another narration: He replied, "Thy mother, then thy mother, then thy mother, and then thy father and then thy nearest relatives and then thy nearer relatives."
Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "May he be humbled! May he be humbled! May he be humbled!" It was questioned: "Who? O Apostle of Allah?" He said: "The one who finds parents in their old age - one of them or both of them, and yet does not enter Paradise."
Bukhari Shareef and Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Asma bint Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhuma) reported: My mother, while she was a polytheist during the Treaty of the Quraish, came to me. I asked: "O Messenger of Allah! My mother has come to me while she is ill-disposed (to Islam) Should I show her respect?" He replied, "Yes, show respect to her."
Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Ibn Omar (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "The most excellent form of obedience to parents is a man befriending the friends of his father after he has passed away."
Ibn-e-Majah Shareef: Hazrat Saoban (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Nothing but supplication can annul predestination, and nothing but obedience to parents can prolong long life. A man is deprived of his provision for his sins he commits."
Tirmizi Shareef: Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the father, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the father."
Sunan Abu Dawood and Ibne Majah Shareef: Hazrat Abu Osaid-as Sayedi (radi Allahu anhu) reported: We were near the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) when a man of Banu Salemah came to him and asked: "O Apostle of Allah! Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their demise?" He replied, "Yes, to pray for them, to seek forgiveness for them, to fulfill their instructions after their death, to keep affinity with those who are not connected with you but through them, and to honour their friend."
Nisai Shareef, Musnad Imam Ahmad and Baihaqi Shareef: Hazrat Mu'awiyah bin Ja'hemah (radi Allahu anhuma) reported that Ja'hemah came to the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and said: "O Messenger of Allah! I intend to join a battle and have come to you for consultation." He enquired, "Have you got a mother?" He replied, "Yes." He said: "Then keep near her, because Paradise is at her feet."
Ibne Majah Shareef: Hazrat Abu Omamah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that a man asked: "O Messenger of Allah! What are the rights of parents over their children?" He replied, "They are your Paradise and your Hell."
Tirmizi Shareef: Hazrat Jaber (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Whoso has got three things in him, Allah will make his death easy and will admit him in Paradise - mercy to the weak, kindness to the parents and doing good to the slave."
Baihaqi Shareef: Hazrat Ibn Abbas (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said:"No obedient son look to his parents with a look of kindness but Allah does not write for them one accepted pilgrimage for every look." They enquired, "And if he looks hundred times every day?" He said, "Yes, Allah is most Great and Most Beneficent."
Baihaqi Shareef: Hazrat Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Almighty Allah may pardon all sins He pleases except disobedience to parents; and He hastens (punishment) in this life before death for one who commits it."

Husband & Wife


The relationship between the husband and wife is a very tender, loving and pure relationship. They are in reality the "garb" of one another. Thus, it is the duty of each to be protective over the life, property and modesty of one another. It is necessary for them to realise and understand their mutual duties as a couple. They are two bodies joined by the soul.
The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if a husband was pleased and content with his wife when she passed away, then she will enter Paradise. The explanation of one Hadith is that if a husband passes the night displeased with his wife, she invokes upon herself the Curse of Allah and the Angels. In another hadith, the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "If I had commanded prostration for any other than Allah, I would have commanded the wife to make Sajdah to the husband." However, since Sajdah is none but for Allah, a woman cannot prostrate to her husband but she should be obedient towards him.
The husband is the provider and protector of his wife. He should thus fulfill her needs and keep her pleased. "The best from amongst you is he who is best to his wife." (Hadith) If there is a conflict, the husband should not be hasty to give her Talaaq (Divorce), but should cool his temper, think carefully and take the opinion of elders before making any decisions as Talaaq is not something which is liked. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated: "From those actions that are Halaal, the most disliked is Talaaq."
The wife should also be patient with the husband. She should show her gratitude for anything that he does. She should understand him and not be lavish with his wealth. She should always be neatly attired and loving. She should love and respect his family. That house in which there is daily conflict is living hell and that home in which there is love and respect is a blessed home.
The Laws of Shari'ah: If a man passes away, the wife may give him Ghusal, but the husband cannot give his deceased wife Ghusal, nor can he touch her deceased body without a cloth. He can, however, see her face. It is common in the public that the husband cannot carry the wife's Janazah or lower her into the grave. This is false. He may see her face, carry her Janazah and lower her into the grave.

Duty towards Children


In as much as obligation towards parents has been strictly enjoined upon children, Islam has also instituted duties towards children. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) laid down some guiding factors with regard to the upbringing and maintenance of children, especially female children.
The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) had raised the status and position of females in Society, and promised the Muslims success and high reward for upbringing their daughters with the necessary education and training to face marriage and lead a decent family life.
The father has been instructed to provide for the maintenance of his infant children, whilst both parents have been instructed to provide education for their young children beginning first with the study of the Holy Quran. Of all the properties and which children inherit from their parents, the best is good manners. Parents have been instructed to spend for the well-being of their children. The Hadith states there is no better cause than to spend for the well-being of their children.
If in the case of the father's death, the mother spends her time bringing up the minor children till they attain maturity, instead of taking a second husband, that mother has been assured a place in Paradise next to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam).
There are Ahadith that state that parents should salute (make Salaams to) their children when entering the house; and parents should often express kindness and affection to their children by hugging and kissing them.
The following are Ahadith from the various Kitaabs of Hadith that refer to duties of parents towards children:
Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Anas (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Whoever maintains two girls till they attain maturity, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this, 'and he joined his fingers.'"
Tirmizi Shareef: Hazrat Jaber bin Samorah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "The teaching of good manners by a man to his son is better for him that to give a sa'a in charity."
Sunnan Abu Dawud: Hazrat Auf bin Malik (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "I and the woman black of two cheeks shall be like these two fingers on the Day of Resurrection (Yazid bin Zuraiy pointed out the middle and fore-fingers), the woman who has been bereft of her husband (but) possessing beauty and respectability, and who confines herself to (upbringing) her orphan children till they grow major and die."
Ibn-e-Majah Shareef: Suraqah bin Malik (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Shall I not teach you the best form of charity? - (maintaining) your daughter who has been returned to you, who has got no earning member except you."
Bukhari Shareef and Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Ayesha (radi Allahu anha) reported that a desert Arab came to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and said: "What! Do you kiss children? But, we don't kiss them?" Then the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said: "I can't help you since Allah has taken kindness out of your heart."
Bukhari Shareef and Muslim Shareef: Hazrat Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) kissed his grandson Hasan bin Ali (radi Allahu anhu) in the presence of Aqra bin Habis (radi Allahu anhu), whereupon Aqra said: "I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) looked towards him and said, "He who is not kind will not be shown kindness."
Abu Dawud Shareef: Bara'a (radi Allahu anhu) narrated: "I came with Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) who was the first to reach Madina. Hazrat Ayesha (radi Allahu anha), his daughter, was lying in bed on account of fever. Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) came to her and said, 'How are you my beloved daughter?' and he kissed her."